The Warriors easily scored more points than the Nuggets, but due to an arcane and confusing system known as the Basketball College, the Nuggets were awarded the victory. Continue reading Basketball College Delivers W to Nuggets, Despite Scoring Fewer Points Than Warriors
Just when you think you couldn’t love LeBron any more. Continue reading Silicon Valley Innovatively Keeping Wealth in Hands of Few
Hey Steph, I get what you’re going through. We both had our shot at history and we blew it. We screwed the pooch. We deflated that football. We were on the precipice of greatness and we got knocked on our asses. But have some perspective, Steph: you lost to an all-time great; I lost to a mouth breathing idiot. Whenever you get down about this … Continue reading TOM BRADY TO CURRY: At least you didn’t lose to Eli Manning
So awkward! Cleveland Cavaliers Lebron James and Kyrie Irving both showed up to Oracle Arena on Monday night determined to win Game 5 of the NBA Finals. Adding to the mortifying mix-up, both players scored 41 points in the decisive elimination game victory. Nothing sucks the fun out of an NBA finals game like two players who genuinely want to leave it all on the court at … Continue reading Embarassing! Lebron and Kyrie mix up whose night it was to give a shit, win game 5 on the road
OAKLAND–Golden State players and coaches praised Draymond Green’s Game 4 performance as a demonstration of the versatility the forward brings to the floor. “He can guard any position one to five, and he can use either his arms or his legs to make contact with another man’s genitals,” coach Steve Kerr told reporters. Though Green only shot two of nine from the field in … Continue reading Draymond Green Demonstrates Versatility By Using His Arm This Time
Man, we sure were dumb, huh? Continue reading Remember Those 72 Hours Last Week?
In addition to his trademark complaining to refs, and constant illegal deployment of moving screens, Green has discovered a knack for kicking opposing players right in the balls. Continue reading Draymond Green To Just Be the Heel From Now On
OKLAHOMA CITY—A long-standing rule to protect Oklahoma City residents from “excessive and sinful joy” could be temporarily suspended if some Oklahoma City Thunder fans get their way. Since the founding of Oklahoma City in 1889, an ordinance has banned citizens from “partaking or observing the scandalous acts of covorting, frollicking, prancing, or dancing.” Mayor Mick Cornett has proposed a temporary lift on the rule immediately following … Continue reading Oklahoma City Considers Temporary Lift of Dancing Ban to Celebrate Thunder Victory
It’s the story no one is talking about: The Orlando Magic are still a basketball team, and their front office wants the world to know, calling a press conference Monday that is imagined to have been very scarcely attended. While Golden State was opening the season with an historic win streak, the San Antonio media often reported that “no one was talking about the Spurs, … Continue reading Orlando Magic Issue Statement Confirming They Still Exist, Are a Basketball Team
Pine Jockeys 