Brooklyn Basketball Fans Hope Gentrification Can Replace Nets With Better Team
“It’s a broke down area that could use some revitalization.”
Continue reading “Brooklyn Basketball Fans Hope Gentrification Can Replace Nets With Better Team”
Stars Don’t Lie: Could Curry and Durant Work Astrologically?
What does the ancient art of Basketbastrology™ say about upcoming free agency? Continue reading Stars Don’t Lie: Could Curry and Durant Work Astrologically?
League’s Courtside Photographers: Please Stop Running Into Us
NEW YORK—Citing that they’re holding very expensive equipment and only trying to help make the league more popular, courtside photographers issued a statement asking NBA players to stop running into them all the time. “We understand that you’re in the game and moving very fast,” the press release stated. “But you’re also world-class athletes. Could you just try a little harder? Or at least apologize … Continue reading League’s Courtside Photographers: Please Stop Running Into Us
Kristaps Porzingis a Huge Disappointment to People Who Wanted Him to be a Disappointment
NEW YORK—Taking time away from yelling at a falafel cart vendor, James “Sully” Sullivan, says he has never been more disappointed in a Knicks prospect than he is with Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingis. “I was right there, ready to boo him with all the rest of you,” the New York native grumbled. “I was much happier when I was pissed off at Carmelo for jacking … Continue reading Kristaps Porzingis a Huge Disappointment to People Who Wanted Him to be a Disappointment
Son Still Using Life-sized Cardboard Cut Out of Shaq to Scare Mom
Suns Bench Tyson Chandler, Replace Him With Bag of Tyson’s Anytizers Popcorn Chicken
PHOENIX, AZ—In what became another great loss in the Suns’ “Stink for Simmons” campaign, the Suns coaching staff sat former Defensive Player of the Year Tyson Chandler. He was benched in favor of a semi-thawed bag of Tyson’s Any’tizers Popcorn Chicken. “We just felt we needed to make a change,” GM Ryan McDonough said, tossing a piece of the tender, all-white, boneless chicken in his … Continue reading Suns Bench Tyson Chandler, Replace Him With Bag of Tyson’s Anytizers Popcorn Chicken
Hopeful Viewer Tunes in to 1st NBA Game Since Beating NBA Jam TE 1995
LINCOLN, NE – Information technology assistant and video game enthusiast, Steven Nelsen has been making strides with his achievable New Year’s resolution of setting down the keyboard and controller and experiencing the real world around him. “Let’s try basketball, I’m excellent at basketball,” Nelsen smiled coyly at Pine Jockeys reporters while changing his television input setting from component to TV for the first time in … Continue reading Hopeful Viewer Tunes in to 1st NBA Game Since Beating NBA Jam TE 1995
Joey Crawford Continues His Farewell Tour, Ejects Tim Duncan from Olive Garden
BREAKING: Kyrie Irving Contracts Bed Bugs While Asleep on Defense
OKLAHOMA CITY—Tuesday morning, Kyrie Irving told reporters the “flu-like symptoms” that kept him out of Monday’s match-up with the Thunder were instead caused by bed bugs. Irving claims his bout with the blood sucking critters happened at the “frickin’ Hilton.” Exclusive inside sources tell Pine Jockeys that the point guard actually contracted the bed bugs the previous Thursday in Cleveland while snoozing on defense. The … Continue reading BREAKING: Kyrie Irving Contracts Bed Bugs While Asleep on Defense
Pine Jockeys 