Category: Rumors

Rumors

Beyhive mistakes Brandon Roy for Rachel Roy, after confusing Rachel Ray for Rachel Roy

In the wake of Beyoncé’s Lemonade audio-visual tribute to women, her internet followers, the Beyhive, are out for blood. After the Beyhive erroneously swarmed Rachel Ray as Jay Z’s potential mistress, the squad was back at it again Thursday afternoon. Rachel Roy, blessed with a common name evaded the attention of the Queen B’s internet phalanx once again, but Brandon Roy was not so lucky. Continue reading “Beyhive mistakes Brandon Roy for Rachel Roy, after confusing Rachel Ray for Rachel Roy”

Unknown's avatarpinejockey
Rumors

Local Warlock Group Proposes Washington Wizards Name Change Citing Prejudice

Washington, DC – “Vie dans des ancêtres, renforcer noblesse. Comme des ancêtres, de coeur noblesse. Décider on de ancêtres, garder noblesse.” Smith Johnson looks to his coven. “The spell has been completed. We may now continue the interview.” Johnson and his party state that they have successfully opened a window of communication with their ancestors, who are furious about the offensive nature behind the Washington … Continue reading Local Warlock Group Proposes Washington Wizards Name Change Citing Prejudice

Unknown's avatarpinejockey
Rumors

Kristaps Porzingis a Huge Disappointment to People Who Wanted Him to be a Disappointment

NEW YORK—Taking time away from yelling at a falafel cart vendor, James “Sully” Sullivan, says he has never been more disappointed in a Knicks prospect than he is with Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingis. “I was right there, ready to boo him with all the rest of you,” the New York native grumbled. “I was much happier when I was pissed off at Carmelo for jacking … Continue reading Kristaps Porzingis a Huge Disappointment to People Who Wanted Him to be a Disappointment

Unknown's avatarpinejockey
Rumors

BREAKING: Kyrie Irving Contracts Bed Bugs While Asleep on Defense

OKLAHOMA CITY—Tuesday morning, Kyrie Irving told reporters the “flu-like symptoms” that kept him out of Monday’s match-up with the Thunder were instead caused by bed bugs. Irving claims his bout with the blood sucking critters happened at the “frickin’ Hilton.” Exclusive inside sources tell Pine Jockeys that the point guard actually contracted the bed bugs the previous Thursday in Cleveland while snoozing on defense. The … Continue reading BREAKING: Kyrie Irving Contracts Bed Bugs While Asleep on Defense

Unknown's avatarpinejockey