Author: pinejockey
Donald Trump Vows to Make Knicks Great Again
On the heels of another super Tuesday victory, The Donald made a shocking claim. “As president of the United States, the first thing I will do is buy the New York Knicks and make them great again.” Continue reading “Donald Trump Vows to Make Knicks Great Again”
Who Wore it Better?—Blazer of the Month
Spotted at the free throw line Sunday night at the Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Meyers Leonard, forward-center of the Portland Trailblazers, was wearing the road blacks. Continue reading “Who Wore it Better?—Blazer of the Month”
Popovich Blames Loss to Hornets on Celebratory Room-Temp Tap Water Drinking Ritual After Warriors W
CHARLOTTE, NC—After a victory against the league-leading Golden State Warriors at home Saturday, the San Antonio Spurs were surprised in an upset loss to the Charlotte Hornets, who overcame a 21-point first quarter deficit, led by guard Jeremy Lin’s 29 points. The Hornets game had “trap” written all over it, after the Spurs completed a five-game home stand that saw them record a series of solid … Continue reading Popovich Blames Loss to Hornets on Celebratory Room-Temp Tap Water Drinking Ritual After Warriors W
Brooklyn Basketball Fans Hope Gentrification Can Replace Nets With Better Team
“It’s a broke down area that could use some revitalization.”
Continue reading “Brooklyn Basketball Fans Hope Gentrification Can Replace Nets With Better Team”
Stars Don’t Lie: Could Curry and Durant Work Astrologically?
What does the ancient art of Basketbastrology™ say about upcoming free agency? Continue reading Stars Don’t Lie: Could Curry and Durant Work Astrologically?
League’s Courtside Photographers: Please Stop Running Into Us
NEW YORK—Citing that they’re holding very expensive equipment and only trying to help make the league more popular, courtside photographers issued a statement asking NBA players to stop running into them all the time. “We understand that you’re in the game and moving very fast,” the press release stated. “But you’re also world-class athletes. Could you just try a little harder? Or at least apologize … Continue reading League’s Courtside Photographers: Please Stop Running Into Us
Kristaps Porzingis a Huge Disappointment to People Who Wanted Him to be a Disappointment
NEW YORK—Taking time away from yelling at a falafel cart vendor, James “Sully” Sullivan, says he has never been more disappointed in a Knicks prospect than he is with Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingis. “I was right there, ready to boo him with all the rest of you,” the New York native grumbled. “I was much happier when I was pissed off at Carmelo for jacking … Continue reading Kristaps Porzingis a Huge Disappointment to People Who Wanted Him to be a Disappointment
Son Still Using Life-sized Cardboard Cut Out of Shaq to Scare Mom
Suns Bench Tyson Chandler, Replace Him With Bag of Tyson’s Anytizers Popcorn Chicken
PHOENIX, AZ—In what became another great loss in the Suns’ “Stink for Simmons” campaign, the Suns coaching staff sat former Defensive Player of the Year Tyson Chandler. He was benched in favor of a semi-thawed bag of Tyson’s Any’tizers Popcorn Chicken. “We just felt we needed to make a change,” GM Ryan McDonough said, tossing a piece of the tender, all-white, boneless chicken in his … Continue reading Suns Bench Tyson Chandler, Replace Him With Bag of Tyson’s Anytizers Popcorn Chicken
Pine Jockeys 