For the next week, the Pine Jockeys (someone’s most trusted source of NBA news, we’re sure) will be bringing division by division previews for the 2016-2017 NBA season. 

 

New York Knicks

Last Season Result: A record number of New Yorkers learned where Latvia is.

This Season Prediction: A lot of New Yorkers learn where rock bottom is.

What to Watch: How quickly New Yorkers turn on Porzingas if he doesn’t turn into a ball of pure energy and hand them the Larry O’Brien Trophy.

 

 

Brooklyn Nets

Last Season Result: A lot of moves to pick up journeyman backups to pretend are starters.

This Season Prediction: The people of Brooklyn continue to not be quite sure what Barclays is used for when not hosting Sia concerts.

What to Watch: Dozens of sports reporters using the Brook-Lin pun when the Nets win their handful of games this season.

 

Boston Celtics

Last Season Result: An exciting backcourt flounders in the playoffs. Fans acted surprised like that wasn’t how that always plays out.

This Season Prediction: The exact same thing and we will be just as surprised.

What to Watch: Drunk, red-faced Irish idiots pummeling each other in front of TD Garden after both wins and losses.

 

Toronto Raptors

Last Season Result: In its 21st year, the Raptors franchise sees its best year ever.

This Season Prediction: Like most 21 year olds, it is all downhill from here.

What to Watch: Their mascot. 

 

Philly 76ers

Last Season Results: A historically bad season that honestly should have been worse.

This Season Prediction: Can a team lose more than 82 games?

What to Watch: Ben Simmons playing Call of Duty while his foot heals.