PHILADELPHIA – The Philadelphia 76ers are the first major North American sports team to sell advertising space on their jerseys. The National Hockey League, a rival sports league, purchased the advertising rights as part of a bold five-year deal.

Sources privy to the deal report it was negotiated May 4 at the Philadelphia Phillies win against the Cincinnati Reds. Between rousing rounds of whipping D batteries at bat boys, 76ers CEO Scott O’Niell signed the deal to place a small NHL logo on the breast of the jersey. The contract also allows for a much larger logo on the back of the jersey that says, “10 – 72. Why? -NHL,” an obvious allusion to the second-worst regular season record of all time, set by the Sixers last season. The only team to ever have a worse full season record was the Sixers ‘72-’73 squad with only nine wins.

In a team statement, O’Niell said, “we are about being first. Like, first to do a thing, not first in points or wins or anything. We are thrilled to be innovators off the court, because this ‘on the court’ thing might not be one of our strengths. I think this partnership with the NHL will help many Sixers fans lead more fulfilling lives by encouraging them to watch literally anything else.”

The NBA assures fans that the logos will not appear on the merchandise that is sold to fans. However, the NBA warns, it will still be a jersey for a team that had 7 lottery picks and only 81 wins over the past five seasons.
“Honestly, I think we sold like a dozen or so last year, so we’re not worried, “ said an NBA insider.