Month: March 2016

Hot Takes

A Tearful Tim Duncan Shoots Boban Marjanovic After Boban Accidentally Hugs Patty Mills to Death

Only the topmost seats of the AT&T Center were lit now. The shadows on the court blue and soft. From the distance came the sound of men shouting to one another. Tim Duncan turned his head to the shouts. Boban said, “Timmy.” “Yeah.” “Ain’t ya gonna give me hell?” “Give ya hell?” “Sure, like you always done before. Like, If I di’n’t have you, I’d … Continue reading A Tearful Tim Duncan Shoots Boban Marjanovic After Boban Accidentally Hugs Patty Mills to Death

pinejockey
News

Popovich Blames Loss to Hornets on Celebratory Room-Temp Tap Water Drinking Ritual After Warriors W

CHARLOTTE, NC—After a victory against the league-leading Golden State Warriors at home Saturday, the San Antonio Spurs were surprised in an upset loss to the Charlotte Hornets, who overcame a 21-point first quarter deficit, led by guard Jeremy Lin’s 29 points. The Hornets game had “trap” written all over it, after the Spurs completed a five-game home stand that saw them record a series of solid … Continue reading Popovich Blames Loss to Hornets on Celebratory Room-Temp Tap Water Drinking Ritual After Warriors W

pinejockey
News

League’s Courtside Photographers: Please Stop Running Into Us

NEW YORK—Citing that they’re holding very expensive equipment and only trying to help make the league more popular, courtside photographers issued a statement asking NBA players to stop running into them all the time. “We understand that you’re in the game and moving very fast,” the press release stated. “But you’re also world-class athletes. Could you just try a little harder? Or at least apologize … Continue reading League’s Courtside Photographers: Please Stop Running Into Us

pinejockey
Rumors

Kristaps Porzingis a Huge Disappointment to People Who Wanted Him to be a Disappointment

NEW YORK—Taking time away from yelling at a falafel cart vendor, James “Sully” Sullivan, says he has never been more disappointed in a Knicks prospect than he is with Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingis. “I was right there, ready to boo him with all the rest of you,” the New York native grumbled. “I was much happier when I was pissed off at Carmelo for jacking … Continue reading Kristaps Porzingis a Huge Disappointment to People Who Wanted Him to be a Disappointment

pinejockey