It seems like everybody hates James Harden, which really only makes me love him more.

Because there’s something about him that feels so familiar. I mean, look at him. His disinterested manner. His cold, calculating, not-at-all-charming way of slacking off. That beard.

James Harden is a Millennial by birth (1989). He’s an ultra-hateable Millennial hipster by behavior. So of course everyone dislikes this guy. No wonder I relate and feel inclined to defend him all the time from my Brooklyn apartment.

The Mast Brothers Chocolate joke is beneath us all, but the comparison is pretty inescapable: both James Harden and Mast Brothers did something difficult—became an incredibly useful and valuable player for an NBA team and got Americans to spend $8 on a candy bar, respectively—in a way that people seem to feel violates the spirit of the enterprise.

But James Harden can point to the money he’s made and the points he’s scored and the Mast Brothers can point to money they’ve made and presumably people who like their chocolate, and they can all stroke their big bushy beards and not give a shit what you think.

But (the argument goes) James Harden goes to the free throw line a lot and the Mast Brothers chocolate sucks and they might have fake beards, so it’s like they’re cheating—BUT that’s such an aesthetics-based argument you know that hipsters are the ones making it, even if they stop short of calling their preferences “aesthetics-based.”

Because what are Millennials but people who frustrate everyone else with their inability to try at stupid shit, like their jobs, or playing defense? I relate to that.

Of course, this feature isn’t really about on-court performance, but as an aside, I’d like to say that I also like watching James Harden play. Unrelatedly, I’ve also bought and enjoyed a Mast Brothers chocolate bar—it’s a luxury good; of course you’re paying for a certain amount of bullshit. That said I’d certainly understand anyone who feels like watching James Harden makes basketball $8 less fun, and I also definitely prefer Twix.

But here’s the best part about James Harden Quintessential Hipster: He started as a 6th man in Oklahoma City, and basketball fans still mourn the trade that brought him to a major market, broke up what some people called “a dynasty.” So people really always walk around saying, in essence, “Yeah, but I prefer his early work.”