Minnesota Timberwolf point guard Ricky Rubio is a somewhat fascinating basketball player: he can bend the very rules of space time when he passes, but as a shooter, he’s a black hole. In the season opener against the Lakers, he shot .588 from the field including 2 of 4 from deep, for 28 points. I wondered if we now had a new Rubio, so I googled whether this was a new era for the Spaniard.

Google was skeptical. Google was right.

That game turned out to be his season high on offense, and more an indictment of the Lakers than anything.

But this isn’t about Rubio’s skills or skill deficiencies. This is about the fact that I dislike Ricky Rubio because he looks like the guy that my ex-girlfriends always date right after we break up.

Rubio seems like a nice guy. Look at him playing with this little girl who’s on the court for some reason. That’s just what irks me.

My ex-girlfriends always make it a point to mention how nice, this new guy is. Oh a nice guy. A European even! He speaks Spanish and can grow a nice beard. He’s really cute.

Yeah. Nice. Well, just like Ricky Rubio’s ability to score points, it never lasts.

It’s only fair to note that, I’m sort of sorry, Ricky Rubio, and those guys who look like him; it’s not really your fault.

I’m not that sorry to my ex-girlfriends, though. I’m plenty nice.